Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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