WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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