So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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