I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
