I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
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the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
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Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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