I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
