the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
