508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
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