The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Randomize
