you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Is it penis luge time yet?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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