soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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