He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
