Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Come share oat with me in your robe
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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