is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
