I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
