yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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