all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
