remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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