A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
