i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
