My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
