this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
