Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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