I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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