no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
