I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
