and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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