called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
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tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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