I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
