What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Randomize
