those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
FUCK WHALES
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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