Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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