what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Randomize
