About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
