The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
