The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
