Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I wish you could order shots online.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
