She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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