Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
