Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm just crazy horny about you
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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