dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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