I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize