Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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