yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
