You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
