i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
