Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
