Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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