I puked a lego.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
