his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
