thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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