the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
