A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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