I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
