A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
