i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
How external is "for external use only"?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
