It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
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