This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You may now shotgun with the bride
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
