is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
